Few Weeks.....

Well.... a lot has happened in the past few weeks. After the birthday hit, I arrived at a bit of a dip on the roller coaster ride. Getting slammed with an opinion that perhaps I'm not as great at what I do as I thought.... doubting everything I've ever known to be true... and questioning why I work my butt of every day to have nothing recognized is NOT a good time. I don't want to dwell on that though... because so many other fantastic things have happened!

Then comes the biggest rush of my life thus far... Winning the New Hampshire Theatre Award for Best Choreographer for my work on Peter Pan. It was completely unexpected and one of my proudest moments. I was HONORED to be a part of that project, and to see my kids perform that night and literally BLOW people away was one of the greatest things i've ever experienced. People were so kind and gracious, and I kept pinching myself to see if it was really happening. When I got on the stage that night, I felt like I was the receiver of a giant hug. I could feel the squeeze and I don't know that anyone will every understand how humble and loved I felt that night.

I feel as though i've been on an upswing lately. I have a guy in my life, who I love more than words could ever really say. I miss him when I'm not with him, and I soak in every moment I have with him. I'm the happiest I've ever been, and I'm looking forward to see what the future holds. He is amazing... and I feel amazing because of him! I love you babe...

This vacation was much needed! I'm in Florida as I write and I'm enjoying every bit of happiness in the sun! Life is good my friends.... life is VERY good!

Happy Birth...day

Well.... right now is the day. Not the moment... that happened at 4:45 pm... but still... the day. Granted I don't remember it, but from what I hear, it was cold as hell, and my dad barely made it to the hospital in time. Other than that, it was smoothe going. I'm home alone right now, sitting here, with so many different feelings running through my head.

I always had a plan for my life, where I wanted to be by the time I hit this point. For the most part, things have fallen into place. I have a great job, great friends, a fantastically wonderful family, and a love that, I believe at the core, is real. It's funny how perceptions change, feelings change, and all of a sudden, you are thrown into a totally new way of looking at people, relationships, and life. In my heart, I hope that this year is filled with more happiness than I know what to do with, less heartache than experienced in the past, and a strong sense of self that I know will bring me to the next level in my life. I want to run forward making positive changes, ridding myself of the poison that I have somehow let in, and realize who and what are the REAL people, situations, and things, that surround me.

It's my day today... my day to just be me. Take or leave it, love it or don't, in the end... it's me... and that's all I know how to do.

Baby... I'm amazed!

It's an awesome thing when the world just collides and everything makes complete sense! I haven't been this happy in a long time... and it is the best feeling in the world. Here are a few reasons for my happiness lately!!

I have one of the most unbelieveable roommates in the world, even though we get upset with each other, and we don't see each other as much as I would like... I know she loves me, and I love her, and we are sisters... at the soul!

And this my friends... is seriously one of the most caring and generous people I know. I'm a lucky girl... and I know it! "Love is just a word till you find someone to give it definition". Well... I found him.

I have the best family in the world... as crazy as we are... we love each other!! My parents are the best, and my sister, is my sister. I love her more than I love myself sometimes... even if she never realizes it! :o)

Things I Love!

Sometimes, it's just nice to realize the things that are truly awesome in our lives... i've come to realize that it's the simple things that I love.

10 Getting all my laundry done AND put away.

9 Making a cup of hot coffee in the morning... or in the afternoon... whichever you see fit.

8. Movies on Sundays.... yup... LOVE that!

7. Lotion... makes everything feel better.

6. Hugs.... who DOESN'T love a good strong hug.

5. Butterflies... in your stomach of course, when you know you are going to see someone you love.

4. Listening to songs that never made sense before.... but now... suddenly do!

3. Pillows... i'm just greatful I have some! So many people don't!

2. Seeing my roommate. Just being around her makes me smile.... but it doesn't happen a lot.

1. Love... knowing that there is someone who loves me for me.... and thinks i'm great.. and knowing that I love him back.... just for being him!

There are more of course... but these are the tops.....

2009.... it all begins

Well... here we are... January 1st... the beginning of a new year! I guess as I look back on the year passed, I realize that a lot has happened. I've made some great choices, and some pretty poor ones, i've grown a lot and regressed, i've smiled and i've cried. My only hope is that this year, things finally click. I need the anxiety to go away and for me to finally be ok, just being Val. There are SO many things I need to work on, and this is going to be the year to do it. It's my time to shine, in 2009. This is my year, my year to be happy, loved, satisfied just being me.

I've met some wonderful new people this year, grown closer to some and further away from others. There are decisions that I made that I will question for the rest of my life, but I know I have to move forward and try my hardest not to look back. I need to surround myself with people who lift me up, not bring me down. I need to love with all my heart, and be real with my life. All I can hope is that things work out the way they should be, that I am happy, healthy, and secure... in others, in relationships, in life... and most importantly myself.

Happy 2009 everyone!! I hope that the journey's this year are fun, plentiful, and truly wonderful!

Another Christmas...

Well... another Christmas has come and gone, and here I am in the Sunshine State. It's amazing that I actually made it down here in one piece though. Let me tell the story....

I worked all day Tuesday (my first full day of work in about 2 weeks) and came home to finish packing and get myself ready to leave. I left home at about 6:15, stopped at Scotty's to say goodbye to him and get my christmas present. Imagine my surprise and COMPLETE excitement when I opened the card to find out I'll be heading to NYC to see Spring Awakening and have dinner at Virgil's! Seriously... he's so good to me. So... after a long goodbye because I wanted him to get in my suitcase and come with me, I head to Logan Airport. Route 3 was lovely... a nice smoothe ride... then... HELL begins. I was stuck on 95 for about an hour and a half. Tears streaming down my face, thinking there is no way I was going to make my 845 flight. Sister was already at the airport, and I'd be spending my xmas without my family.

Our family always parks at Pauls Park and Ride in East Boston... it's cheap and the people there are really nice. So.. I pull in at 815, run into the little Hut they call the "office" and the owner looks at me like I have 14 heads. He says " you look like you are in a rush... what time is your flight" ...I say " 845"... he says " OH S**T". The little man in the van comes and pics me up... and I think we were on 2 wheels the ENTIRE ride to the airport. I threw his tip on his seat and ran into the airport. People really are nice this time of year. They let me cut the security line... of course i friggen beep when I go through... so he says " too much metal"... i rip every piece of jewelry off, put it in a bowl, pass it through the little belt thing and walk through again... this time... NO BEEP! I take the bowl and dump the jewelry into my bag and now... the fun begins.

I RUN... AND i MEAN... RUN!! I have no shoes on, all my bags are flopping all over the place, plus my vest and sweatshirt.... i turn the corner and there is my sister... sitting there with tears coming down her face because she is laughing so hard. She wished she had her camera because I looked rediculous! Anyways... we get on the plane where we then sit for 2 hours because some jackass got on the plane with an invalid boarding pass. His ticket had a girl's name on it.... let's just say... someone lost a job that night!

We arrived in West Palm Beach at 2:30 am.... passed out... and was zonked all of Christmas Eve. Needless to say... we made it.... and things have been happy ever since. I'm missing people at home... but i'm enjoying the sunshine with my family. Santa found me in Florida... I was nervous about that... and now... it's easy living for another few days!!! Love to everyone!!

Xtra Vacation

Well... it has been an interesting week for sure. I've been out of work since last Thursday because of this crazy ice storm that has hit southern NH. Believe me, the week off was much appreciated. I got things done that never would have been accomplished otherwise. Plus... with rehearsals for the Christmas Spectacular at Peacock Players, it was nice to not have to worry about rushing around. I got to spend time with people that I really enjoy spending time with, and some Christmas shopping got done as well!

People are really completely bizarre this time of year. The people that I encounter out at the stores, really REALLY amaze me! Everyone seems to be in a rush to go nowhere... I just want say to them " LISTEN PEOPLE... we are all in the same boat... CHILL OUT!" And the people that work at these stores aren't any better either. You ask them a question, and they look at you like you have 15 heads. It's remarkable... REALLY!

My adventure to Florida is 4 days away, and really... I CAN'T WAIT! I am in intense need for 10 days of sunshine and relaxation. I need to be alone with my own thoughts, and away from everything. When I come back, I guarentee you will be meeting a brand new person... it's time!

N"ice" night... freebie day!

I love snow days. Waking up and turning on the tv this morning and seeing L-town scroll across the bottom of the screen was a much needed thing! Espescially after a late evening last night. I love those nights when you feel so comfortable in your own skin, in your own house, and with the people around you. I was smiling all night... watching National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, laughing hysterically, having some beverages, yummy friend chicken, raw pecan pie (roomie tried), snuggling up on the couch, and a unwarrented game of Yahtzee. What else could you ask for?

Once 1 am rolled around, I was ready for bed. I through some prayers to the big guy upstairs, hoping for no school, and was ecstatic when my prayers were answered this morning. Snuggled in bed, I was thinking about this upcoming weekend, and realized that this next week, is going to be a treat! I'll be with my kiddos and it's been a long time since i've been emersed in that building. I'm looking forward to the giggles, the hugs, the spirit, and the love. I love this time of year...

A Moment...

So, Monday afternoon, as I sat hooked up to an I.V. for 2 1/2 hours, getting medicine pumped into my veins, reading a book about mistaken identity, and lost in my own thoughts, I start to appreciate the quiet that will surround me for the next few hours. Suddenly, the nurse comes in, begins fighting with tubes and poles, and takes the chair across from me out of the room. She says " You are going to have company for about a half an hour, I'm bringing in a patient in a wheelchair". My thought.... GREAT... here we go! In comes this man on oxygen. He's chatting with the nurse, talking about how they are going to put something in his leg so he doesn't lose his foot, and might not be in treatment tomorow. He has quite the sense of humor. He asks for a diet coke and the nurse kindly complies. All of a sudden he goes "So... where are you from sir"? YOU CAN IMAGINE MY SHOCK! I thought to myself " Me? Do I look that terrible today?" Apparently the "me?" slipped out and he said, "Oh... it's a lady". I said "Yes... I'm a girl". His next words were something I didn't expect... " I'm blind ma'am... I'm sorry". That's right folks, I was in a room with a blind man on oxygen, who had a port in his arm so that they could easily administer all of the medications he gets on a daily basis.

The next half an hour breezed by as me and "Mr. T" talked about our lives, our travels and experiences over the years. He was engaging beyond belief. He asked me about my life... what I did for work... how often I came up there... and where I saw my future roads leading. He told me about his daughter and his wife, what he did for work prior to being sick, and the wonderful adventures he took growing up. As his machine beeped for the conclusion of his treatment, he said to me "Thank you young lady for making my day, and this daily treatment more bearable than usual". For the first time in a long time, I felt like I had a true and genuine impact on someone's day.

As he was leaving the room he turned and said, "keep your chin up little bird, and keep doing what you're doing". I had no words to say back except " I plan on it, you take care of yourself". In a half an hour, "Mr.T" gave me a gift. He reassured me that what I do, and who I am, is good enough... and most importantly... that by just listening and sharing... I can make a difference in someone's day. Thanks "Mr. T" for reminding this "little bird" that it's ok to fly.

Let it begin

I'm feeling the need to start blogging. I feel like so much happens in my life on a daily basis, that I need to share the humor, tears, and complete insanity with other people. I guess it's my first step in writing my book. In this blog, you will a cournocopia of thoughts, quotes, stories, pictures, and randomness. I'm hoping it won't fall short and that you will read laughing along with me

If you are sitting there saying to yourself "Flypaper for Freaks"... what is that all about?? Well... I plan on unveiling that at a later time... for now... just sit back with massive anticipation... and wait for the next entry!