Few Weeks.....

Well.... a lot has happened in the past few weeks. After the birthday hit, I arrived at a bit of a dip on the roller coaster ride. Getting slammed with an opinion that perhaps I'm not as great at what I do as I thought.... doubting everything I've ever known to be true... and questioning why I work my butt of every day to have nothing recognized is NOT a good time. I don't want to dwell on that though... because so many other fantastic things have happened!

Then comes the biggest rush of my life thus far... Winning the New Hampshire Theatre Award for Best Choreographer for my work on Peter Pan. It was completely unexpected and one of my proudest moments. I was HONORED to be a part of that project, and to see my kids perform that night and literally BLOW people away was one of the greatest things i've ever experienced. People were so kind and gracious, and I kept pinching myself to see if it was really happening. When I got on the stage that night, I felt like I was the receiver of a giant hug. I could feel the squeeze and I don't know that anyone will every understand how humble and loved I felt that night.

I feel as though i've been on an upswing lately. I have a guy in my life, who I love more than words could ever really say. I miss him when I'm not with him, and I soak in every moment I have with him. I'm the happiest I've ever been, and I'm looking forward to see what the future holds. He is amazing... and I feel amazing because of him! I love you babe...

This vacation was much needed! I'm in Florida as I write and I'm enjoying every bit of happiness in the sun! Life is good my friends.... life is VERY good!

Happy Birth...day

Well.... right now is the day. Not the moment... that happened at 4:45 pm... but still... the day. Granted I don't remember it, but from what I hear, it was cold as hell, and my dad barely made it to the hospital in time. Other than that, it was smoothe going. I'm home alone right now, sitting here, with so many different feelings running through my head.

I always had a plan for my life, where I wanted to be by the time I hit this point. For the most part, things have fallen into place. I have a great job, great friends, a fantastically wonderful family, and a love that, I believe at the core, is real. It's funny how perceptions change, feelings change, and all of a sudden, you are thrown into a totally new way of looking at people, relationships, and life. In my heart, I hope that this year is filled with more happiness than I know what to do with, less heartache than experienced in the past, and a strong sense of self that I know will bring me to the next level in my life. I want to run forward making positive changes, ridding myself of the poison that I have somehow let in, and realize who and what are the REAL people, situations, and things, that surround me.

It's my day today... my day to just be me. Take or leave it, love it or don't, in the end... it's me... and that's all I know how to do.

Baby... I'm amazed!

It's an awesome thing when the world just collides and everything makes complete sense! I haven't been this happy in a long time... and it is the best feeling in the world. Here are a few reasons for my happiness lately!!

I have one of the most unbelieveable roommates in the world, even though we get upset with each other, and we don't see each other as much as I would like... I know she loves me, and I love her, and we are sisters... at the soul!

And this my friends... is seriously one of the most caring and generous people I know. I'm a lucky girl... and I know it! "Love is just a word till you find someone to give it definition". Well... I found him.

I have the best family in the world... as crazy as we are... we love each other!! My parents are the best, and my sister, is my sister. I love her more than I love myself sometimes... even if she never realizes it! :o)

Things I Love!

Sometimes, it's just nice to realize the things that are truly awesome in our lives... i've come to realize that it's the simple things that I love.

10 Getting all my laundry done AND put away.

9 Making a cup of hot coffee in the morning... or in the afternoon... whichever you see fit.

8. Movies on Sundays.... yup... LOVE that!

7. Lotion... makes everything feel better.

6. Hugs.... who DOESN'T love a good strong hug.

5. Butterflies... in your stomach of course, when you know you are going to see someone you love.

4. Listening to songs that never made sense before.... but now... suddenly do!

3. Pillows... i'm just greatful I have some! So many people don't!

2. Seeing my roommate. Just being around her makes me smile.... but it doesn't happen a lot.

1. Love... knowing that there is someone who loves me for me.... and thinks i'm great.. and knowing that I love him back.... just for being him!

There are more of course... but these are the tops.....

2009.... it all begins

Well... here we are... January 1st... the beginning of a new year! I guess as I look back on the year passed, I realize that a lot has happened. I've made some great choices, and some pretty poor ones, i've grown a lot and regressed, i've smiled and i've cried. My only hope is that this year, things finally click. I need the anxiety to go away and for me to finally be ok, just being Val. There are SO many things I need to work on, and this is going to be the year to do it. It's my time to shine, in 2009. This is my year, my year to be happy, loved, satisfied just being me.

I've met some wonderful new people this year, grown closer to some and further away from others. There are decisions that I made that I will question for the rest of my life, but I know I have to move forward and try my hardest not to look back. I need to surround myself with people who lift me up, not bring me down. I need to love with all my heart, and be real with my life. All I can hope is that things work out the way they should be, that I am happy, healthy, and secure... in others, in relationships, in life... and most importantly myself.

Happy 2009 everyone!! I hope that the journey's this year are fun, plentiful, and truly wonderful!